How to Save a Life
by arabesquesunset
Summary: Oneshot songfic based on 'How to Save a Life' by the Fray. As he is dying, Snape reminisces on the only one he ever loved, Lily Evans. SnapeLily. Read and review! DH SPOILERS!


How to Save a Life

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Everything belongs to JK Rowling. Sad, isn't it?

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He knew it was the end of his life.

From the moment the snake had struck, he felt the pain of the injury taking its toll on his life. He lay still, watching his life before his eyes in small flashes, passing. And then...the boy came. Her son. Harry Potter...the Boy Who Lived, they called him. The Chosen One. He watched, barely able to move as the boy crawled toward him, until he was kneeling beside the dying man. The man knew what he had to do, and he gave up his memories, worst and best, to the boy who must finally understand everything.

As the memories left him, he managed to say, "Take...it...Take...it..."

Each thought passed before his eyes, and remembered...

_Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through_

She was so beautiful, even so young...swinging on the playground, her red hair flying in the wind as her feet left the earth.

_Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came_

A girl and a boy sitting in the dead, slowly browning grass. Just talking. "Severus" she says, and she asks him to tell her a story again. He smiles. He had always loved the way his name sounded on her lips. Like it would always be safe there.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_

They were lying on the Hogwarts grounds. It was late at night, and if they got caught, it was most likely detention for both of them. But they didn't care. He loved this about her. Even in all these dangerous times, with the Dark Lord and his followers about, they could always make time for each other. They would always be able to brave the world together.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"What do you think you're going to do with your life?"

"I hope, give as much good and love as is possible for one person to give."

He turned his head to look at her, but she was still simply staring at the sky, at the stars. Searching for what, he didn't know, but she was so beautiful in every way. She always would be, to him.

_Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence_

He saw her across the grounds as he descended the steps from the great oak front doors. He quickened his pace, as he always did, as though a moment he was not with her was wasted. And for him, this was true. She was sitting beneath the beech tree so many had taken shelter in from the sun in warmer days, looking across the lake at the reflections of the sunset. As he approached, she looked around, and smiled the smile he loved so much. He sat down beside her, and she turned to watch the sunset once more.

"Hello, Sev," she said.

He didn't reply, but just turned in the same direction as her, to watch the setting sun.

"What are you looking at, Lily?"

"The sunset," she answered, as though it was obvious. Which it was.

"Why?"

"Because it reminds me of life. The way that every day has to end."

He looked at her, and saw tears streaming silently down her cheeks. He had forgotten that she had lost her parents the previous day. For the first time, he reached over to wipe the tears from her cheeks, and then pulled her closer to him in a hug. Had she cared to notice, she may have known what that hug meant. It was more than a simple gesture. At least, it was for the boy beside her.

_Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
Pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you_

It was a few years later, and things had broken between the two teenagers. Slowly they began to drift apart. He still loved her. He always had. And he knew that wouldn't ever change. But he was losing her, and he knew that if that happened, he couldn't live with himself for very long.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_

The fateful day that he lost her forever, the day he delivered the word he never thought would be said to her, was the end of his life, as far as he knew. In his anger and humiliation he had seen something break in her eyes, and he knew that he would never receive another smile from the only one he had ever loved. And from that point on, he vowed never to smile again, himself.

_As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed_

They, along with the rest of the Wizarding world, had chosen sides. Him on one, and her on another. And yet he continued to love her as he knew noone else could. As he always had, and yet even more. Had she bothered to look, she would have seen him watching over her, every day and night. Had they bothered to try, perhaps they could have learned how to save a life.

_He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

Many years had passed. Lily Evans became Lily Potter. She had married the enemy of his schooldays, and had a son with him. And within three years she was lost forever. The prospect of her death at last brought Severus Snape to the side that so many good men had fought and died for. And for all those many years, seventeen years, he had remembered her and fought for her. He had continued loving her, even in death, and had watched over her son, as a service to her and the memory of her. For Severus Snape had loved her. He always had. Another memory came to him, and he knew it was almost time to let go of life.

"I loved you, Lily. I still do. Why did you have to go?"

The crying man spoke to a picture she had once given him before summer vacation. He still remembered what she had said to him when she handed it to him.

"To remember me by, because I know you'll miss me during the summer," she had said.

"You're right, I will," he replied, as he smiled back.

"Yes, because you love me so much!" she laughed. She always had a beautiful laugh. Like bells, on the best days. He opened his mouth and then closed it, not being able to say what he wished he could. She gave one last laugh, leaped at him for a hug, and then waved as she walked away with her sister and parents.

"I do love you, Lily Evans," he whispered, looking down at the picture of her laughing and smiling.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_

He was brought back to the present by seeing, yet again, the boy kneeling by his side in the last moments of his life. Her boy. Hers. Dumbledore had been right. He had her eyes, precisely her eyes. He had never bothered to notice before. He just managed to get out, "Look...at...me..."

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_

As the eyes focused on his own, he thought not of whom he was truly looking at, but of her. Only her. The only one he had ever loved. Lily...there were her eyes...the ones he had known so well. And as all went black for the last time, he heard that sweet, sweet voice. "Severus? Tell me the story again." And he smiled, for he had always loved the way his name sounded on her lips. Maybe she did know how to save a life.


End file.
